I had a lot to think about and jive with in the GLSEN toolkit, and couldn't help but constantly remember my own awkward line-step trying to champion these values earlier in the year. I think it's relevant to bring up again my sweet love and transgender student, Sunshine*, that I taught for two years before coming to my new school. I should add that the majority of my current student population are her former classmates as well. Anyway, long story short, one day earlier this year I overheard several of those kids in discussion at the carpet, debating whether Sunshine is really a girl or really a boy. That's one reason I found it absurd that "educators have said that these topics simply 'don’t come up'" (GLSEN 2), as that has been the opposite of my experience in 3 years of working with kids. I tend to see it as the authors of the article do, saying "we know that young children often have their own way of communicating what in fact is coming up, or identifying that which they are ready to explore or learn about. These kinds of issues reveal themselves in dramatic play, student to student dialogue, the informal rules of the playground and in a myriad of other ways" (GLSEN 2). What I did next in the specific 'student to student dialogue' in question, is I sat down with them and told them that I was going to weigh in right now. I wish I could remember my exact words (partially because I got in trouble for them later), but I know I said something along the lines of "In my opinion, Sunshine is a girl. That's something she gets to decide, not me. As her friend and someone who respects her, if Sunshine says she is a girl and wants to be treated as one, I am going to respect that." I'm sure I wasn't half as eloquent, and upon reflection I do believe I said too much by giving them my opinion, which in a way told them what to think. I wish I had used the teachable moment to facilitate a conversation that would lead them to make the most respectful and inclusive conclusions... but I guess that is what this GLSEN packet is for!
I think one major mistake I made in my eagerness to jump up and defend Sunshine is I skipped the "Question" phase suggested as the first step by the authors. They remind teachers to "Ask as many questions as possible of your students as you proceed through the lessons and, encourage their dialogue with each other, not just with you. Questioning and dialogue will help them make meaning and develop a deeper understanding of the material presented" (GLSEN 5). In my exuberance to share my feelings and "make a difference" in how my kids think about gender and acceptance of those who don't conform the way they expect, I skipped the questioning and went right in to answering... unsolicited, I might add. If I could re-do this reaction, I would start off by letting them know how important their questions are and listening to all of their thoughts on the matter before launching a discussion on how we show acceptance and respect of people's choices no matter what our opinions are.
With all of this in mind, I chose to read Lesson Set 3 for its focus on "appreciation around individual identity as it relates to societal expectations of gender roles and behaviors", "awareness of assumptions and stereotypes around gender roles and behaviors", and "skills to be allies to others in the face of bias or name-calling related to gender identity or expression (GLSEN 39). I feel like this set is very relevant to the questions my students grapple with, not just in the non-conforming identity of their former peer, but also in the types of assumptions and comments they make about each other. Just today at lunch I overheard a few boys saying "Did you know that James plays with barbies?" "Oh my god!" etc etc etc. I said "I don't get it, what's wrong with playing with barbies?" One of my students said "They're for girls!" I said "Why?" and got an answer like "because!" with eyerolls like "Katie is so dense sometimes." I probed deeper and said "who gets to make that choice for all the kids? Who enforces it?" and my student said "The Kid President!" And who do you think that Kid President might be? "Um... Baby Barack Obama." Oh, of course.
I say this only to scoff once more at the teacher who claimed "these topics simply 'don’t come up'" (GLSEN 2), and to reflect on how much even the students of a gender diversity studies nerd can benefit from the lessons in the GLSEN program. I think the "That's just for __" lesson could work for my mixed setting of 2nd through 4th graders, even though the suggested target is K-2. I have never tried a mind-game lesson like the one in Brown Eyes/Blue Eyes, but I see what an interesting tool it can be for expanding understanding of a topic or building empathy to another point of view. I think my students would be able to viscerally feel the exclusion that can come from gender norm grouping when I "choose one piece of the plan to identify unacceptable for that team using phrases like, 'Only the _____ team can wear orange shirts' 'Only the _____ team is allowed to play that game, your kind of team can’t'" (GLSEN 41). The only downside I see to this lesson is how to wiggle out of a Class Fun Day once these plans have been put in motion! That may cause a riot in my room!
I VERY strongly identified with the lesson on Tomboy (GLSEN 42) from my own childhood. The authors describe my experience to a T when they say "For many young students the first time this [teasing] may emerge is in response to others’ perceiving that they are not behaving “enough” like a boy or “enough” like a girl" (GLSEN 3). I have distinct memories of going into a new situation and fearing the consequences if I "outed" myself as a girl; instead, I would often relish the freedom of letting my new playmates assume I was a boy! If my secret did get out, I could expect the treatment I was receiving from my new friends to change instantly. I've had other experiences as an adult where a group of men (and sometimes women) assume I couldn't possess certain knowledge or skills because of my gender, particularly my outdoor living skills. I've been excluded from important decision making and even from building a fire one time when I know my expertise could have helped get the job done a lot better. This just goes to show how important lessons like these are to teach early on, so people aren't denied or deny themselves the chance to hear the value in lots of different voices.
I also really want to do the "Let's go shopping" activity on page 44! Why are there so few weeks left in school?? This lesson would be perfect for my guys as they are just now in the midst of studying supply and demand and preparing for their own "market day" for which they conducted surveys and research. Even during this process I heard students saying "I'll offer princesses for girls, and race cars for boys... I just need another girl one and another boy one..." I should have done this lesson TODAY! I think this would be okay for the whole class, but perhaps the homework should be reserved for the older students. I'm not sure my younger guys are "ready" (as the authors would say) to analyze gender and marketing to such a degree, but then again I could be wrong!
Not to be ridiculous, but I also love the "What Are Little Girls and Boys Made Of" lesson on page 48! I think I shared this rhyme with a student in passing just the other day, and we talked about how silly it was and how I think there might be some puppy dog tails in some girls I know, too. I never thought to use the rhyme as a formal teaching point. I love the idea of creating the chart together to help organize and track our thinking.
I would love to launch a unit and do all of these activities; the main issue that gives me pause is the reaction my little "Sunshine" comments received from parents and my administration, and I do not wish to step on any toes... but then again, as I've said in the past, stepping on toes is sometimes the most important work a critically thinking activist teacher can do. Here I find myself yet again navigating that murky place between what I say my convictions are and enacting them. I'm glad these lesson plans are here to help light the way, and thinking about them for the future is at least a place to start.
I think one major mistake I made in my eagerness to jump up and defend Sunshine is I skipped the "Question" phase suggested as the first step by the authors. They remind teachers to "Ask as many questions as possible of your students as you proceed through the lessons and, encourage their dialogue with each other, not just with you. Questioning and dialogue will help them make meaning and develop a deeper understanding of the material presented" (GLSEN 5). In my exuberance to share my feelings and "make a difference" in how my kids think about gender and acceptance of those who don't conform the way they expect, I skipped the questioning and went right in to answering... unsolicited, I might add. If I could re-do this reaction, I would start off by letting them know how important their questions are and listening to all of their thoughts on the matter before launching a discussion on how we show acceptance and respect of people's choices no matter what our opinions are.
With all of this in mind, I chose to read Lesson Set 3 for its focus on "appreciation around individual identity as it relates to societal expectations of gender roles and behaviors", "awareness of assumptions and stereotypes around gender roles and behaviors", and "skills to be allies to others in the face of bias or name-calling related to gender identity or expression (GLSEN 39). I feel like this set is very relevant to the questions my students grapple with, not just in the non-conforming identity of their former peer, but also in the types of assumptions and comments they make about each other. Just today at lunch I overheard a few boys saying "Did you know that James plays with barbies?" "Oh my god!" etc etc etc. I said "I don't get it, what's wrong with playing with barbies?" One of my students said "They're for girls!" I said "Why?" and got an answer like "because!" with eyerolls like "Katie is so dense sometimes." I probed deeper and said "who gets to make that choice for all the kids? Who enforces it?" and my student said "The Kid President!" And who do you think that Kid President might be? "Um... Baby Barack Obama." Oh, of course.
I say this only to scoff once more at the teacher who claimed "these topics simply 'don’t come up'" (GLSEN 2), and to reflect on how much even the students of a gender diversity studies nerd can benefit from the lessons in the GLSEN program. I think the "That's just for __" lesson could work for my mixed setting of 2nd through 4th graders, even though the suggested target is K-2. I have never tried a mind-game lesson like the one in Brown Eyes/Blue Eyes, but I see what an interesting tool it can be for expanding understanding of a topic or building empathy to another point of view. I think my students would be able to viscerally feel the exclusion that can come from gender norm grouping when I "choose one piece of the plan to identify unacceptable for that team using phrases like, 'Only the _____ team can wear orange shirts' 'Only the _____ team is allowed to play that game, your kind of team can’t'" (GLSEN 41). The only downside I see to this lesson is how to wiggle out of a Class Fun Day once these plans have been put in motion! That may cause a riot in my room!
I VERY strongly identified with the lesson on Tomboy (GLSEN 42) from my own childhood. The authors describe my experience to a T when they say "For many young students the first time this [teasing] may emerge is in response to others’ perceiving that they are not behaving “enough” like a boy or “enough” like a girl" (GLSEN 3). I have distinct memories of going into a new situation and fearing the consequences if I "outed" myself as a girl; instead, I would often relish the freedom of letting my new playmates assume I was a boy! If my secret did get out, I could expect the treatment I was receiving from my new friends to change instantly. I've had other experiences as an adult where a group of men (and sometimes women) assume I couldn't possess certain knowledge or skills because of my gender, particularly my outdoor living skills. I've been excluded from important decision making and even from building a fire one time when I know my expertise could have helped get the job done a lot better. This just goes to show how important lessons like these are to teach early on, so people aren't denied or deny themselves the chance to hear the value in lots of different voices.
I also really want to do the "Let's go shopping" activity on page 44! Why are there so few weeks left in school?? This lesson would be perfect for my guys as they are just now in the midst of studying supply and demand and preparing for their own "market day" for which they conducted surveys and research. Even during this process I heard students saying "I'll offer princesses for girls, and race cars for boys... I just need another girl one and another boy one..." I should have done this lesson TODAY! I think this would be okay for the whole class, but perhaps the homework should be reserved for the older students. I'm not sure my younger guys are "ready" (as the authors would say) to analyze gender and marketing to such a degree, but then again I could be wrong!
Not to be ridiculous, but I also love the "What Are Little Girls and Boys Made Of" lesson on page 48! I think I shared this rhyme with a student in passing just the other day, and we talked about how silly it was and how I think there might be some puppy dog tails in some girls I know, too. I never thought to use the rhyme as a formal teaching point. I love the idea of creating the chart together to help organize and track our thinking.
I would love to launch a unit and do all of these activities; the main issue that gives me pause is the reaction my little "Sunshine" comments received from parents and my administration, and I do not wish to step on any toes... but then again, as I've said in the past, stepping on toes is sometimes the most important work a critically thinking activist teacher can do. Here I find myself yet again navigating that murky place between what I say my convictions are and enacting them. I'm glad these lesson plans are here to help light the way, and thinking about them for the future is at least a place to start.
*Sunshine is a pseudonym. I strive to always use pronouns that adhere to subject's preferred gender expression.
4 comments:
Katie,
I really enjoyed reading your blog and it seems as if the article really connected with you not only from a teacher's perspective but a student perspective as well. I remember the story you told me about your sweet Sunshine and I definitely believe that the resources we read this week could have aided any teacher who found themselves having that conversation with students. As always, I love the fact that you give us a very reflective and cohesive response in your blogs and I look forward to reading your future thoughts.
-Tilifayea
Katie,
I loved hearing about your relationship as a teacher and as a friend of Sunshine's. What a unique position you are in to have the ability to teach the same student for a number of years. What I value most about your reflection was the fact that you really thought about how you really considered how students relate to Sunshine, how it makes Sunshine feel and the techniques you can use to make sure at the end of the day Sunshine gets what she needs. With that being said I love the suggestion you came up with of simply letting your students ask questions! Rather than skirting around the issue why not let students question and inquire because at the end of the day that is how people learn. Keep up the good work : )
Kyla
Hi Katie! I seriously always love reading your blog. It is so personal and unique to you! Your situation with your student Sunshine is one I feel like I've had with my kiddos before. I often hear students (mostly boys) say, "that's for girls!" and I always want to jump in and defend the female gender instead of facilitating a discussion on why they believe this to be true. It's a difficult job being a teacher sometimes, sometimes we have to stop talking so much and let the little ones talk!
You're so right about these issues coming up. Kids are so aware and we often underestimate them and their knowledge! Instead of keeping silent, we should open up the dialogue and discussion for parents and students about issues such as gender roles and identifications.
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